Have We Forgotten?: Response to The NYTimes

The story To Be Black at Stuyvesant High from the NYTimes this week did not sit well with me. This story focuses on the sad real­ity of some spe­cific indi­vid­u­als, which is inter­est­ing and impor­tant in its own way, but it means the story doesn’t get at the root of what’s actu­ally hap­pen­ing here. Black stu­dents aren’t set up suc­ceed for these kinds of merit tests. Their ele­men­tary schools and mid­dle schools don’t have the same resources to pre­pare stu­dents for these tests. But this fact is painted over by the gen­eral belief in the Amer­i­can Dream– that every­one can suc­ceed if they just work hard.

One com­menter says: “Racism does not hold back blacks in gen­eral. It is their lack of suc­cess that does. One should not nec­es­sar­ily hold back the other. Keep focus­ing on edu­ca­tion, and you will even­tu­ally suc­ceed and over­come all doubts. This much is clear from the lessons we’ve learned from other minori­ties who have risen the lad­der of eco­nomic suc­cess in Amer­ica.” This is not an uncom­mon belief. This is dis­turb­ing. Has our coun­try really already for­got­ten that we insti­tu­tion­ally iden­ti­fied black men and women as NOT peo­ple, as par­tial peo­ple, and finally as separate-but-equal people?


just don’t finish it.

Per­haps you know the feel­ing: so many thoughts, so many half-baked phrases, not quite sure how to put it all on paper, mind going crazy with hyper-links to all the other still-doughy ideas of the last for­ever.  Per­haps you also know this end­ing: no writ­ing accom­plished, many pages surfed, beers ingested, feel­ing of fail­ure. A


A New Place, Some New Thoughts

It has been a long while since I’ve pub­lished. In the spring, I went through what many of my new friends also expe­ri­enced: PhD rejec­tions… from every­where. It was a hard cou­ple of months of reeval­u­at­ing self “truths.” I decided to con­tinue to pur­sue my pas­sions in a slightly dif­fer­ent (and slightly more expen­sive) way:


fat girl syndrome

I appre­ci­ate when my sis­ter stands up for me when men tell me in some form that I’m too fat to love. “What an ass­hole!” she says. “He doesn’t deserve you! You’re beau­ti­ful!” I know she means it, and I know she wants me to agree. But she sim­ply can­not under­stand. Every time I hear the


pencil marks from the last few months

When I made this web­site, I was still liv­ing in New York, and I was still liv­ing in a state of mind that I can’t access now any more eas­ily than I can access the Brook­lyn Bridge. Tech­nol­ogy was my life. I checked Twit­ter every 15 min­utes from any­where I was via iPhone. A day


the idiot gap

There’s noth­ing like try­ing to cre­ate some­thing new to remind you of just how much you don’t know.  As I’m googling html help for my web­site, I’m reminded of fresh­man year Chem­istry.  I remem­ber reli­giously attend­ing office hours, really hop­ing to under­stand, and really fail­ing at that.  My knowl­edge wasn’t enough that I could even